The Battle

Okay, so today I'm going to get a little more personal than the norm. I usually steer clear of these kinds of subjects because it is...humiliating, to say the least. But I've decided to go public with this so that perhaps I can gain something from your experience and support. Selfish, I know. :)

Like most girls, I worry about my appearance. From birth our society has pounded into our little brains how we are supposed to look a certain way. I won't get into what the "perfect" body looks like, because honestly, the "perfect" body image has changed over the years. But I do want to be healthy, and facts is facts: obesity and healthy do not co-exist.

I was thin growing up (I thought I was fat, but I'd give anything to look like that now), and was an active basketball player. Those of you who have only known me as an adult will probably be surprised to learn that I was the All American basketball player at my school. Shocking, I know. :) But when I went off to college, the exercise stopped and the eating of yummy foods continued. I slowly gained weight, each year feeling crummier than the previous.

The year before I got married, I moved home to save money for a Masters Degree. My Mom (who is an awesome health nut) wanted to lose a few pounds, and so we decided to do Weight Watchers together. And just like that, in 6 months I lost 50 pounds. Now if I am being totally honest, I have to say that it really wasn't that hard for me. I had a built in diet partner, I was SUPER busy away from home (and therefore rarely tempted), and I started dating more than I ever had (a built-in reinforcer). I was ecstatic to see the pounds fall off. I actually liked what I saw in the mirror, and more importantly, I felt good. I felt healthy.

And then I got hitched.

Between birth control pills (an entirely different subject), stress, a tight budget, 4 pregnancies, & nursing---here I sit---70 pounds heavier. Yes, you read that right. SEVENTY pounds heavier! I can hardly believe it. It's not that I haven't tried to lose weight. In the 8 years that I've been married I have formally joined Weight Watchers twice. I've tried doing Weight Watchers on my own more times than I can count. I've purchased exercise videos and the Wii Fit. At one point I was even running 3 miles every morning. So what exactly happened? Why haven't I been able to lose the weight this time around? Well, there really is only one reason for me.

I'm at home.

Yep, my entire day revolves around cooking meals, getting snacks, and doing dishes. I'm in the dining room/kitchen area of my house for 80% of my day....and the pantry/fridge is right there. It's just too easy to eat.

And so, I've decided to try something new. I've set a goal to lose 70 pounds by August 1, 2011. Hopefully no unexpected pregnancies will interfere with this--haha! AND, in order to keep myself accountable, I'm going to publicly humiliate myself every day be reporting on this blog how I am doing. I'm sure you will all be bored to tears, but if I know other people are reading this, maybe it will help me only eat one cookie instead of a dozen. :)

So, tomorrow it begins.

Books!!!!

Okay, so this post is kind of selfish---I need a new book to read! Any suggestions? To give you an idea of what I like, here is a list of the books I have read in the last year or so:

Percy Jackson & the Olympians series

Maximum Ride series

The Hunger Games series

Hero (my brother wrote this book) :D

The Host

If you are familiar with any of the books above, you'll notice that I like fantasy/sci-fi young adult/teen novels (because they're clean). I don't like anything too heavy. And I definitely don't like biographies.

Anyway, let me know what you have read recently. I am wanting to delve into something new!

Riding the Daddy Train

Perspective

Sometimes, I just need to remind myself of this:

Motherhood: An Eternal Partnership with God

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

G took Miss L and Miss A to their first baseball game last weekend. I'm not sure which was more exciting: the game, a date with daddy, or staying up late. :) They came home at 10:30 p.m. I thought they'd be exhausted. Instead they were completely wired, and had to tell me EVERY detail about their evening. They were full of giggles! It was so cute!

Here are some pictures from G's phone. The quality isn't the greatest, but you get the idea. :)

I Want to be a Missionary Now

About a month ago Miss L started reading the Book of Mormon (the children's version) on her own, each night before bed. Last week she came to me one morning, and told me, "I feel I should share this with someone so they will know about Jesus Christ." I was surprised by her ability to understand and communicate what she was feeling, and also humbled by her desire and willingness to share--without any apprehension at all. We talked about who we could share it with, and she decided she wanted to give it to our very nice neighbor who often brings us snap peas from his garden. I thought it was so sweet, but I must admit that I was hesitant. Even though I know the Gospel is true, I have never been good at sharing it, other than through my example.

Miss L was determined to do it. She wanted to knock on his door right that minute and read him part of it (which I thought was really cute). But with sickness running through the house and a vacation on the way, I convinced her to wait until Daddy was home---and then (I'm embarrassed to say), we promptly forgot all about it.

Vacation came and went (wish I could say the same about the sickness). Then, this morning Miss L came to me with a small adult version of the Book of Mormon, and told me she wanted to give it to our neighbor. I felt that I could no longer ignore her desire to share the Gospel. I told her it was a wonderful idea. First she wrote a Thank You card to him (he took care of our garden while we were out of town). Then I suggested she write something inside of the Book of Mormon to explain why she wanted to give it to him. This is what she came up with, all on her own.

Dear Neighbor,

This book is called the Book of Mormon.

I want you to have this because it talks about Jesus Christ.

I love you.

Love, Miss L

Miss A and Miss R caught on to Miss L's excitement and made Thank You cards of their own. Then they ran (literally) next door and rang the doorbell. Imagine the disappointment they felt when no one came to the door. :( So I told them they could either leave their cards and gift on the porch, or we could come back later. It was a tough decision for Miss L, but she decided to leave it on the porch.

Excited to share the Gospel

Thanks Miss L for being such a good example to me. I love you!

Summer Vacation

Last week I reached my breaking point. There wasn't any one particular thing or event that caused it--just the stresses of life that keep piling on top of each other. The pile got higher and higher---and finally came crashing down. So I made an executive decision---no more school until the fall!

For the past 17 months I have been homeschooling Miss L, pretty much non-stop. We didn't have a summer break last year. We've taken off time for the holidays and birthdays and some time when Baby C was born. But even then, I'd sneak in some phonics or some workbook stuff. I had planned on taking the summer off this year, but not until the normal school break--mid June to late August. But I just couldn't handle another day of it.

We have been on "summer vacation" for only two days---and it has been heavenly. In the past when we've had time off from school, we've been traveling, or I've done record keeping or researched curriculum. And I always had this guilty thought in the back of my mind, telling me that we should keep moving forward with school. I've never really shoved school aside completely, until this week. OH MY GOODNESS!!!! I cannot believe the amount of time I have...and the energy I have (even being sick). And I cannot believe how wonderful it has been. I have had time to play with each of my children, cook a healthy dinner, and even do a little deep cleaning. I've had time to lay down in the middle of the day while the younger ones are taking naps--even if it's just for 15 minutes. I have had virtually NO WHINING from Miss A, which is an absolute miracle. And at the end of the day I don't feel guilty for not doing this or that--because I've had time to do it! I could go on and on. It has been so wonderful.

So now what? Let me tell ya, life is so much easier with four when you don't add the dimension of home schooling. I might even be tempted to forget it all together--except that our neighborhood school is ranked 4 out of 10. Yuck. And I think my husband would have a heart-attack if I said I wanted to send our girls to public school. :) So I guess I'll stick it out for another year until we move to AZ, and see what happens then. But let me tell you---I'm gonna ENJOY MY SUMMER VACATION!!!!