AN HONEST POST

This isn't the best time for me to post something---I'm in a pretty bad mood. But I've been avoiding this long enough...it's time to blog about my weight loss. Or in this situation, my weight gain. In the last 2-3 weeks I have gained 3 pounds. Lovely. Apparently avoiding the scale doesn't work for me.

I have a bunch of theories of why I have gained weight. But I have to say that in the end I really have no idea what is going on. I am really frustrated. I do feel like I've been giving up a lot of things, and so I don't understand why the scale is moving up instead of down. The most likely truth is that I've stopped nursing---I don't need as many calories, and yet I'm still eating the same amount. I've also been struggling with finding time to eat. Weird, I know. I usually have a good breakfast, but after that I pretty much starve myself all day because I'm running around with my kiddos. When I fix them lunch, I remember I should eat, but we rarely eat the same things since PB & J is full of carbs, and kids aren't exactly fond of salads for lunch. And so I put off my meal, until I realize around 3:00 that I'm STARVING. Then I end up eating something that's easy to grab (and usually not as healthy). So frustrating. My other problem is that the weather has turned cold---so cold veggies don't sound that good to me. Salads are not as appealing, and to be honest....I'm just sick of them.

It's pretty humiliating to blog about this. I mean, it's embarrassing to admit my weaknesses to the masses. But I promised myself I would do it (and believe me, I have thought a million times about breaking that promise). So I'm sorry about the whining. This is truthfully where I am at right now. So please, if you're reading this, please, please, please tell me to shape up and get back on track! And if you struggle with weight loss yourself, please share your experiences. I need some help. And please, if you have any ideas that could help me---SHARE THEM!

Thanks everyone!

School Days

I have been having so much fun homeschooling my kids this year. I was a little nervous to teach two kids at once, but it has been going really well so far. We spend the morning doing "book work" and then the afternoon doing more hands-on, fun kind of learning. Here are some pictures from some recent school days.

A typical morning at our house:

Miss L received some butterfly larvae in the mail. After reading her the "rules" she decided to write them down and post them for all to see. :D

Gross, huh? It was pretty cool though.

We have butterflies!!!

Time to let them fly away.

Miss L working on her caterpillar/butterfly field journal.

This is our most recent science/history project. The girls had TONS of fun with this! They could not believe that it actually erupted!

They were so proud.

Every Friday (and often other days of the week if there's time) the girls get to choose an art project. Most recently they have been having fun doing mosaics. I would have LOVED something like this when I was a child!

Miss A's artwork

Miss L's artwork

We also recently had some field trips. That's one of the fun things about homeschooling. When you go somewhere fun, you can call it school. :D

First the pumpkin patch...

Then pony rides....

Then Apple Hill....I forgot my camera, but we took some pics of their painted faces when we got home.

I never thought in a million years I'd homeschool my children. But I do have to say, we're having a blast!!!!

Do-Over

I would love to have a magic rewind button for this week. I made WAY TOO MANY poor food choices. We had such a fun week, first at the pumpkin patch and then at Apple Hill. How in the world have I lived in Sacramento for 3 years and somehow neglected to go to Apple Hill? Apple Cider Donuts. Apple Pie. Caramel Apples. Hmmm, maybe it's good that I didn't discover this yummy place until now. Haha! :D

This week I am going to take a "pass" on the scale. The numbers are such a mental game for me. I either get discouraged and give-up, or get excited and eat a little extra---neither of which is good for me. So I'm going to try something new---and avoid the scale for 2 weeks. It may or may not work for me. We'll see.

I'm also thinking of going back to Phase 1 of the South Beach Diet. I have slowly strayed from Phase 2 of the diet---and have found myself enjoying too many sweets. The good news is that I'm still eating lots of vegetables. In fact I found a DIVINE salad at one of my favorite restaurants (Tower Cafe) that I crave. For all of you locals--you have to try the Thai Steak Salad. YUMMY!!!!

Anyway, I should really stop talking about food....

Big Ideas

I have a dream.

It's simple really.

I'd like to use my bathroom one time without being interrupted by my children.

Do I need to say more?

My Baby is One Year Old

I can't believe an entire year has passed! My sweet Baby C turned a year old yesterday. I am so grateful she is a part of our family. She has such a sweet disposition and loves to tag along after her big sisters. Her favorite activities include playing with dogs, hugging baby dolls, chewing on books, and going on walks. Her favorite foods include black beans, edemame, rice pilaf, blueberries, and juice. I don't have her exact stats, but she is smaller than my older girls were at this age. She still hasn't reached 20 pounds....

We had a small family party with a smash cake (which she would not touch), a few presents (which she loved), and her favorite dinner--black beans. :D

She almost grabbed the candle.

She LOVED being the center of attention! She was a total ham for the camera--posing and everything. It was cracking us up.

She finally agreed to touch (and eat) the cake after I cut her a piece.

Loving the attention...

Love this expression, scrunched up nose and all. :D She looks a lot like Miss A in this picture.

Opening presents (sorry about the red-eye; I should have edited the pics before posting them--oops).

Playing with the Roper traditional 1 year old b-day present--a box of kleenex. She had a blast pulling them all out. And of course, the girls loved helping.

Happy 1st Birthday Baby C. WE LOVE YOU!!!!

Checking In

I have about a million blog posts I need to do. They have been piling up since school started. I'll get around to them one of these days. But I needed to weigh in since I'm almost 2 weeks behind. Oops.

I've lost another pound, putting the total to 17! The weight has been coming off SO SLOWLY, but I'm happy it's coming off instead of going on. :D And 17 pounds is quite a bit when you think about how heavy a 10 pound sack of sugar is!!!! Haha!!!!

In all fairness to the South Beach Diet, it has worked REALLY well for me---when I stick to it. But honestly I cheat regularly, therefore slowing down my weightloss. But what I am eating seems more realistic for me at the moment, and I don't feel like I'm restricting myself too much. I think that's why I've been able to keep moving forward. I'm just eating healthier...and less.

Freedom

Last week Baby C decided to go on a nursing strike. Since she is 2 weeks shy of turning a year old, I decided to take advantage of her disinterest--and wean her. It was a pretty big jump for both of us. At the time she was still nursing 3 times per day, and was not interested in drinking whole milk, so the whole thing was a little stressful (and painful). I'm always a little emotional when I wean my babies. I'm not a mother who adores breastfeeding, but I do think it creates a sweet bond between mother and baby. For me, weaning is a sign that I'm losing my baby; she's growing up! I can't believe she will turn 1 year old next week. Here is a recent photo of her so you can see all of her cuteness!

One of the biggest blessings of weaning is the freedom I have to leave for extended amounts of time. Next month I am going to the city (SF) with my sister to see West Side Story---I can't wait! And I'm trying to schedule a weekend for me to enjoy some spa time (a gift my husband gave me for our anniversary). It's so nice to have the freedom to leave. :D

As a side note, I lost 1.5 pounds this week. Yay! I have decided to change my weigh-in day to Friday, so I can enjoy my weekends a little more. :D So from now on, I'll be reporting on Friday. Thanks for your continued support!!!!